The news of the Government of India appointing Nandan Nilekani to head the Unique Identity Authority (UIDA) of India has been received positively by the media and the informed public. This makes Nilekani’s elevation to a governmental leader complete, he is been awarded the status of a Cabinet Minister. Now when you think about the same, you say here in Kuwait we have the Civil ID since long, but keep in mind that we are talking something about India, a land with a population of 1,166,079,217 and counting. I wish him all the best and am positive that this ID will roll out sooner that later since this guy means business.
Now the following is a funny incident thats bound to happen once this ID system is implemented.
Operator : “Thank you for calling Pizza Hut . May I have your…”
Customer: “Heloo, can I order..”
Operator : “Can I have your multi purpose ID card number first, Sir?”
Customer: “It’s he…, hold……….on……889861356102049998-45-54610”
Operator : “OK… You’re… Mr Singh and you’re calling from 17 Jal Vayu. Your home number is 22678893, your office 25076666 and your mobile is 09869798888. Which number are you calling from now Sir?”
Customer: “Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?
Operator : “We are connected to the system Sir”
Customer: “May I order your Seafood Pizza…”
Operator : “That’s not a good idea Sir”
Customer: “How come?”
Operator : “According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir”
Customer: “What?… What do you recommend then?”
Operator : “Try our Low Fat Pizza. You’ll like it”
Customer: “How do you know for sure?”
Operator : “You borrowed a book entitled “Popular Dishes” from the National Library last week Sir”
Customer: “OK I give up… Give me three family size ones then, how much will that cost?”
Operator : “That should be enough for your family of 05, Sir. The total is Rs 500.00”
Customer: “Can I pay by! Credit card?”
Operator : “I’m afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank Rs 23,000.75 since October last year. That’s not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir..”
Customer: “I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives”
Operator : “You can’t Sir. Based on the records, you’ve reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today”
Customer: “Never mind just send the pizzas, I’ll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?”
Operator : “About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can’t wait you can always come and collect it on your Nano Car…”
Customer: ” What!”
Operator : “According to the details in system ,you own a Nano car,…registration number GZ-05-AB-1107..”
Customer: ” ????”
Operator : “Is there anything else Sir?”
Customer: “Nothing… By the way… Aren’t you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?”
Operator : “We normally would Sir, but based on your records you’re also diabetic……. “
Operator : “Better watch your language Sir.. Remember on 15th July 2010 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman…..?
Customer : (Faints)